Livi June Beckham's Birth Story, Part 1

August 24, 2013

4:00am I woke up to pee for the tenth time that night. Only this time, I realized I had woken up with contractions. I went to the bathroom, and kept telling myself this is NOT happening. Ty was still sick, my to-do list wasn't done, and I just needed more time. After waiting for about 20 min and having a few more contractions, I started crying. I really was so upset. Clarke woke up with a start and asked what was going on. Through tears I told him I thought I was in labor. My sweet husband surprised me by getting really excited, and having the BEST attitude about the whole thing. I remember him saying "August 24th is the perfect day for a birthday!" He was excited that it was a weekend, and he wouldn't have to worry about work etc. I kept telling him that this was just false labor, and that today was a terrible day to have a baby. I was such a party pooper. When it was obvious that the contractions were not stopping any time soon. Clarke got up and decided we needed to have a good breakfast to start out the day. He made really yummy french toast, and the whole time was just super giddy and positive. I started to accept that this probably wasn't false labor, and that I was going to have a baby today. 

I started to become really stressed about all the things I needed to do. Clarke was more than willing to help out with my ridiculous list of things to help me not stress as much. I don't remember everything that was on the list, but it was things like: All the laundry, sweep/mop the floors, sanitize EVERYTHING, dishes, trashes, vacuum, I remember there was a load of baby clothes someone had given me a few days earlier that I needed to fold and put away,  clean out the fridge, etc. I am a little OCD about things being really clean, and there's nothing quite like having a perfectly clean house. I wanted to bring home our baby to a nice clean house, and not have to worry about a thing for a while. Plus, there's nothing worse than leaving your house with dirty laundry, trashes, or dishes in the sink and having that awful smell after a few days. Yuck! So we started getting things done. By about 8:00am my contractions slowed way down. I kept apologizing to Clarke, because I had this sinking feeling that it really was false labor and I had woken Clarke up at 4:00am for nothing. I got really tired all of a sudden, and decided that I was going to go back to sleep. 

I woke up from my nap at 11:00am, with some contractions again. These contractions felt more consistent, and like they were actually going somewhere. I showered and got ready (have to look good for the pics!) Clarke got more serious about helping me get my list of things done. I remember him making fun of me for how ridiculous some of the things were, but being willing to do them anyway. I remember him filming me and asking me to say all the things that needed to be done before we left for the hospital, I'm sure if I were to watch it again, I would think I was ridiculous too. 

I let my mom know I was in labor, which was kinda funny since for months she had been saying that today was the ONLY day that I couldn't go into labor because she had a work conference she absolutely couldn't miss. I told her to stay at her conference since I was sure that I would be in labor until late tonight, or even early morning the next day. Luckily she decided she had better leave, and she was ready to help at any time. We made arrangements for Ty to go to Clarke's parents. I also called my best friend Malena Everill to let her know what was going on. My midwife had talked me through the process and told me that I could go to the hospital at any time, or call her at any time. She also said that I didn't necessarily have to call her myself to let her know I was in labor, but that the hospital would call her when I arrived. She did say though, that if I wanted to labor mostly at home it would be a good idea to wait until my contractions were 4-5 min apart, for 2-3 hours (Or something like that, I can't remember exactly). At around 2:00pm when I called Malena, my contractions were getting really painful and were about 4-5 min apart. I hadn't been laboring that long, so I thought for sure it'd be a while before I would go in. Since I couldn't talk through my contractions, and had to put the phone down through each one, Malena convinced me to call Julie (my midwife) and let her know what my status was. I am SO glad that I did. She seemed surprised that I had waited so long to call her, and said that it was probably a good idea to get packed up and head to the hospital.

My list of things still wasn't done, but by this point I wasn't very helpful. I remember laying on the bed on a big pile of baby clothes that I was trying to fold, and having painful long contractions, and then just laying there out of energy until the next one would come. Every once in a while I'd get a burst of energy and try to help, but I was pretty much useless. This whole labor thing was much more painful than I remembered with Ty. I told Clarke that he needed to hurry, and that we needed to go ASAP. He was hilarious, and told me that he was hurrying, but that we couldn't leave until his list was done. And he was dead serious. My contractions seemed to shift, and all of a sudden I wasn't ok. They were hard, fast, and extremely painful. I was sure my neighbors would come running to see what all the yelling was about. Ty seemed to be so confused as to what was going on, and kept coming over to give me hugs and tell me to be happy. Such a sweet little guy!

My plan this time around was to try and go natural. I had wanted to go natural with Ty, but I was deathly ill the week before he was born, was extremely dehydrated, had gall stones, and a hiatal hernia all at the same time. So needless to say, I had no where near the energy I needed to go natural, and I was completely ok with that. Epidurals are a beautiful thing. I was really excited that this time around I wouldn't need to be induced, and I would see how my body handled normal, non-pitocin labor. All along though, I knew that if it got too bad and I felt like I needed an epidural, I would get one. I talked Clarke's ear off about all the risks for epidurals, and how non-medicated births are easier to recover from etc etc etc. I told him that if at any point in my labor I decided I wanted an epidural, that he should remind me of all the reasons I didn't want one...

The contractions were so horrible. There are no words to describe just how painful they were, other than to say it's the worst pain I have ever experienced, and could ever imagine experiencing. They were coming on fast, and hard. I was done. I couldn't do it anymore. I finally told clarke that we had to leave NOW, and that I needed an epidural an hour ago. All of a sudden that big list of things to do, was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Nothing else mattered, except for getting out that door. It seemed like an eternity before Clarke could load all the bags and Ty in the car. Clarke came back down the stairs to get me, and I could barely walk. I had to crawl up the stairs, and was crying/yelling the whole time. I remember my neighbor was doing yard work, and looked at me like I was a crazy person. Also, it was raining. Why? Why did there have to be a stupid freak rainstorm in the middle of August on today of all days?? We had been needing to get new tires on a car for a while now, but kept putting it off. Our tires were pretty much striped, and had no traction, which = dangerous to drive in the rain. I told Clarke to drive fast please, and he responded very calmly and said that he would go as fast as he could, but that he had to be very careful so that we wouldn't hydroplane. I guess getting in a car accident while in labor, would be a bad idea... 

I think that we got into the car around 4:15ish. My contractions were still about 3-5 minutes apart, so I was thinking that I would labor for a few more hours once we got there. I was convinced that I would get an epidural and everything would be fine. Originally the plan was to drive Ty to his parent's house in Sandy which is about 10 min off of the freeway exit, which would add an extra 20 min of driving, plus the time to unload Ty etc. I told Clarke to call his dad and have him meet us somewhere, to save us time. Because of the rain (curse you rain!) there was stop and go traffic on the freeway. Seriously? Within a few minutes of being stuck in traffic, I started to feel a lot of pressure down low. My contractions sped up, and I had this sinking feeling. Through my contractions I told Clarke to call his dad again and tell him to meet us at the hospital. There was no way we could stop. I think Clarke called my mom too, and told her to meet us at the hospital doors.

A few weeks before, we had jokingly been talking about what we would do if I had the baby on the side of the freeway. Clarke had it all planned out. He would bring his headphones with the speaker on it, and have 911 on speed dial. That way, when they had to talk him through delivering the baby, the headphones would allow him to be hands-free! So thoughtful! I guess all that talk paid off, since Clarke was prepared with his headphones on, and 911 on speed dial. I started to feel the need to push as we were getting onto bangerter highway (about 15 min away from the hospital). Clarke kept saying "Hold it in! We're almost there!" I tried so hard not to scream, I knew that Ty was really confused and scared in the backseat. He kept wimpering, but was mostly quiet in the backseat. I couldn't help it though, I thought I was going to die. I prayed that I would just die. I actually remember praying the whole time that I would make it to the hospital, and not have her in the car.

As we rounded the corner to the hospital doors, I remember seeing both my father-in-law Randy, and my mom waiting at the doors. Thank heavens! I threw open the door, as the car was still coming to a stop, and my mom grabbed my arms. I ran screaming into the hospital like a crazy person, and was seriously running as fast as I could, which was not fast at all. More like a fast walk. A tech from down the hall, saw the commotion, and grabbed us a wheelchair. I sat in it, and bless my mom's heart, she ran down the halls at an incredible speed.

When we came flying down the hall to labor and delivery, they ushered us right into the first room. I imagine they could sense that this baby was coming fast. I stood up, and quickly started ripping off my clothes. There was a lot of commotion. I remember the nurses trying to get me into a gown, and trying to hook a baby monitor to my belly. They kept telling me to hold still, haha not going to happen. Sorry! They asked if I wanted an epidural, and I remember my mom telling me there was no time for an epidural. Which makes sense now, but at the time, I was in so much pain I wasn't thinking clearly. The pressure was so intense, a nurse quickly checked to see where I was at, and then started freaking out and yelling commands to everyone around her. I was at a 10, completely effaced and whatever else they say to indicate that this baby is coming NOW. I remember crying and saying "Who's going to deliver my baby?" and all the nurses saying "We are!"

As all this was going on, Clarke had given Ty to his dad, parked the car and ran upstairs to find me. He got lost though, and was trying to get into the "Mom and Baby" unit, but the nurse wouldn't let him in without a code. He was so frustrated and kept telling the nurse, my wife is in there having her baby, I don't have a code!! Luckily they figured it out and sent him to L&D just in time, because both he and my midwife walked through the door just in time.

My mom and a nurse each had one of my legs as I pushed. I remember looking up to see Clarke run in, and my midwife Julie ran in, someone handed her a gown, as my water exploded everywhere. I say exploded because I swear it was like someone threw a water balloon at me, I pushed and out came my baby girl. I don't know exactly how long it was, but from the time I pulled up in the car, to the time I pushed her out, was around 10 minutes. To think that if we had left 10 min later, or if the traffic had been worse, I seriously could have delivered her in the car. Such a miracle! Heavenly Father was definitely watching over me and my family. Looking back, it was just as I was blessed by my dad in that blessing a few days earlier. My delivery really was smooth, with no complications. Just a little intense.

At 5:22 pm, my little 7lb, 7oz baby girl was born.